《妨礙安寧 Disturbing the Peace》Richard Yates

他的秘密只能說給布林克聽。

“最近發生一個重大改變，醫師。我的女朋友跑了。她去跟巴比甘迺迪的講稿撰寫人同居。”

“嗯，這是會讓人心煩，當然的，” 醫師說，快速在檔案夾裡寫字。“但是撇開別的不談，這代表你的生活不再那麼複雜了，是吧？你要往好的方面看。”

好的方面沒有什麼值得看。

《電影小說》村上龍

我們不發一語的等候頭班車，走過星期天黎明時分的商店街，來到我的公寓前。我們看著那棟木造建築物很久，彷彿它是某種象徵。由於我們剛看完“納粹狂魔”，很瞭解象徵的意義。終於，市川明美開口說：“我回去了。” 我準備送她去車站，她攔下了一輛剛好路過的計程車。聽到她對司機說了一句：“去橫須賀。” 車門就關上了。我不想一個人回家，走了一個多小時，去了瘦女人家裡。


很久以後，我突然想起那個星期天的黎明時分。那是1990年義大利世界盃決賽的前一天晚上。已經成為小說家的我，來到羅馬採訪，和幾個朋友來到最有名的餐廳吃飯。時間差不多七點多，夕陽西斜，一踏進餐廳，我就倒吸了一口氣。挑高的天花板上掛著藍色的天鵝絨簾幕，西斜的陽光在店內勾勒出抽象的圖案，兩個長得像米開朗基羅雕像般英俊的同性戀靜靜的拿著刀叉吃飯。那一刹那，我覺得我不應該踏進這麼美麗的地方，然後，就突如其來的想起看了“納粹狂魔”，和只做了一次愛的女人分手的情景。之後，我們沒有再見過面。

聽說市川明美結婚後，回到了佐世保，繼承了父親的加油站。

《Sleep It Off Lady》Jean Rhys

Who Knows What's Up In the Attic?

But he went on singing.  He had a good voice.  How long was it since she had sat by a man driving fast and singing? Years and years. Or was it perhaps only yesterday and everything that had happened since a strange dream?

.
'Yes and it would be lovely, but it's quite impossible, I can't."
'Why not?'

Of course he must have seen perfectly well why not and if he didn't she was certainly not going to spell it out. That would have depressed her for days, for weeks. How few people understood what a tightrope she walked or what would happen if she slipped.  The abyss. Despair. All those things.

Not Shooting the Birds

There is no control over memory.  Quite soon you find yourself being vague about an event which seemed so important at the time that you thought you'd never forget it.  Or unable to recall the face of someone whom you could have sworn was there for ever.  On the other hand, trivial and meaningless memories may stay with you for life.  I can still shut my eyes and see Victoria grinding coffee on the pantry steps, the glass bookcase and the books in it, my father's pipe-rack, the leaves of the sandbox tree, the wallpaper of the bedroom in some shabby hotel, the hairdresser in Antibes.  It's in this way that I remember buying the pink milanese silk underclothes, the assistant who sold them to me and coming in the street holding the parcel.

I had started out in life trusting everyone and now I trusted no one.  So I had few acquaintances and no close friends.  It was perhaps in reaction against the inevitable loneliness of my life that I'd find myself doing bold, risky even outrageous things without hesitation or surprise.  I was usually disappointed in these adventures and they didn't have much effect on me, good or bad, but I never quite lost the hope of something better or different.