Adoptation - Charlie Kaufman

「或是我可以去學俄語或什麼﹐或是一種樂器。我可以說中文。我可以成為一個說中文吹黑管的劇作家。那會很酷。我應該剪短頭髮。別再誤導自己和身邊所有人認為我有滿頭秀髮。多可悲。真實點。自信。難道女人不就是被這個吸引嗎﹖男子以才為貌。才怪。尤其不是現在。男人身上的壓力幾乎和女人一樣重。為什麼有人讓我覺得我應該為我的存在感到歉意﹖或許不過是腦裡的化學作用。或許我的問題就出在那裡。不好的化學。我所有的問題和焦慮都不過是化學不平衡或是突觸的某些錯誤傳導。我需要尋求幫助。但我還是很醜。什麼也改變不了這個事實。」

《蘭花賊》

What if I learned Russian or something, or took up an instrument. I could speak Chinese. I’d be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that. Just be real. Confident. Isn’t that what women are attracted to? Men don’t have to be attractive. But that’s not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it’s my brain chemistry. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that. But I’ll still be ugly though. Nothing’s going to change that.