Walks with Men - Ann Beattie

Well: better someone be mysterious than that the mystery be solved, because you might stuck with an answer you didn't want.

Chilly Scenes of Winter - Ann Beattie

Laura should be here.  What is he going to say to her?  He wants, somehow, to convey to her that her husband is a dull man.  Since he is also dull, he wants to point out that she wouldn't be getting into anything unexpected; she would just be swapping a dull person who doesn't care much about her for one who does.  That sounds awful. He will have to think harder.  He puts his watch away.  It is heavy in his pocket.  He pushes it far into the pocket, not wanting to lose it.  What would his old puckered-cheeked grandfather think of his rendezvousing with a woman at an elementary school?

On the ride to her apartment Sam sits in the back.  Betty wanted to sit back there, and both kept insisting until finally Sam pushed her aside and climbed in.  Charles felt sorry for her, trying to act like one of the guys, to act indifferent.  He thinks she is starting to like him again.  He looks quickly at her legs.  They are so fat.  She is so plain.  They have nothing to talk about.  He knew it would be this way.

"When would you... when are you going to call me?"
"Soon."
"You meant not tomorrow?"
"A second was just a convenient way to put it.  I'll call you when I can call you."
"Laura, shit!  I'm sorry if I made you mad, but I've got to see you.  I stayed away when you went back to him, but now I'm coming over there."
"If you come over tonight I won't be here," she says.
"Then tomorrow.  Alright?"
"If it means that much to you."
"It does."
"I don't think you're thinking of me.  I think you're thinking about what's best for you."
"I love you!"
Silence.
"I know," she says.  "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Where do you live?" he says.
"On Wicker Street - 140 Wicker.  A small building."
"Okay.  I'll see you then."
She hangs up.  What went wrong?  What's happening? Where is Wicker Street?
That night he dreams that he is launched in a spaceship to the stars.  His mother is there.  She is taking a bath on a star.  He gets back in the rocket.  Mechanical failure!  That strange jingling!  HE sits up in bed, eyes wide open.  The dog is walking again, his collar jingling.  By now it is clear; the dog has insomnia.

Ann Beattie

I became disenchanted with New York when I realized that I felt as if I had accomplished something when I picked up the laundry and got the Times and a quart of milk. I spent a lot of time worrying about alternate-side parking. I lived on the fourth floor of a brownstone. If I had messed up and hadn’t jockeyed my car to the right side of the street for the next day and somebody moved their car at four o’clock in the morning, it was an automatic response, in winter or summer, maybe I put my slippers on, but I would run down in my pajamas and get that place. All of a sudden I thought, This is absolutely ridiculous.

野露

我把全部扔給了生活，我要看它還我什麼：金斧頭不要，銀斧頭不要，就要那屬於自己的，我認得出它那破爛斑駁的模樣，我認得出來。

越活越年輕。學會基因和大腦的系統錯誤然後照實演練一次。

我說沒疑惑。有數所以用不著數。我說該幹啥幹啥。有愛就愛有恨就恨。

凱撒的歸凱撒，宇宙的歸宇宙，我說。

我想命運總有辦法，它將我連人帶石一起推下山。等我真的得到了我要的（等我走到金光閃閃的對方，太陽將會把我深深灼傷。）我哭，我撲打，我像見鬼。我還是驚訝，吐不出呑不下。

我常常想到死。然而這也不是甚麼新鮮事。

狀況最好的時候，我對自己說，無所謂，我輸得起。

而我甚至不知道自己在賭。就像水中的魚不知道水。

我可以去... 我可以......

然後醒在同一個地方，日復一日。

這當然不是最糟的，但難得是我自找的。從來就少不得折磨自己，只是這趟有一連串的明細，只是有人讓你在折磨自己之餘，也正大光明的折磨他。

夜路才走了一半，明月從未如此皎潔，照亮你腳前的路。空氣裡帶著清涼的野露，你還在走，還能繼續走下去。

Olga Leonardovna Knipper on Chekhov

我們初次見面是在一八九八年。在九月九日那天契訶夫來參觀莫斯科藝術劇院排演海鷗，那是最初幾次排演中的以此。我們演員們跟我們熱愛的作家初次會面的時候，那份熱烈興奮是難以形容的，我們深深的感到了他的為人非常微妙的魔力，他的樸素，他在所謂“教誨和指導”方面的無能。我們不知道跟他說甚麼好，也不知道怎樣稱呼他好。...... 他瞧著我們，時而微笑，時而十分莊重，帶著點忸怩，捋著鬍子，夾上他的夾鼻眼鏡。我們本來以為作家一到，海鷗的表演的秘密就可以揭開了，不料他對有些問題，簡直是不知道該怎麼回答。

人家一問他，他就用奇怪的出乎意外的方式回答，彷彿總有些不貼題似的；我們不知道該怎樣對待他講的那些話才好 － 把它們看作玩笑呢，還是認真的接受下來。不過這只是一開頭的清醒，人只要想一想，就馬上覺得這句彷彿無關大體的話鑽進了人的腦子和心；劇中人物的整個本質好像從一根肉眼看不見的線索上生長起來了。

比方說，有人問他該怎樣扮演某個人物。“盡您的力量去演好了，”契訶夫的回答。又有一個人請他說明海鷗裡的作家的性格，回答是：“哪，他穿花格褲子。”