《A Toyko Romance》Ian Buruma

The first Disneyland to be built outside the United States was in Japan, in 1983, not far from Narita International Airport. Donald Richie once wrote that there was no need for one, for the Japanese already had a Disneyland called Tokyo. The nonresidential areas of the city certainly had the ephemeral air of a theme park. Richie's admirer, Christopher Isherwood, the British novelist who had made Los Angeles his home after living in Berlin before the war, wrote the following words about his adopted city: "What was there, on this shore, a hundred years ago? And which, of all these filmsy structures, will be standing a hundred years from now? Probably not a single one. Well, I like that thought. it is bracingly realistic. In such surroundings, it is easier to remember and accept the fact that you won't be here, either." 

Donald Richie

He came back to Japan just a few years before I met him, not exactly as a sexual exile, but as a man who was convinced that when he first arrived in Japan in the late 1940s he had glimpsed his private Arcadia: a country where he would never be judged for his desires.

"You know," he said, before we parted company at the Hongo subway station, "you have to be a romantic to live in Japan. A person who feels a complete, who does not question who he is, or his place in the world, will dislike it here. To be constantly exposed to such a radically different culture becomes unbearable. But to a romantic, open to other ways of being, Japan is full of wonders. Not that you will ever belong here. But that will set you free. And freedom is better than belonging. You see, here you can make yourself into anything you want to be."

七十歲的 Ian Buruma 回憶1970年代到日本居住的六年，那時在亞洲的老外遠沒有現在多，除了外派到當地的公司主管，就是全球流浪的“性癖流亡者” - 這些藝術家、音樂家、作家等在帝國時期流亡到殖民地找尋自己的一塊樂土，在兩個大戰中在歐洲做最後狂歡，戰後繼續流亡到北非、亞洲等地。是 Christopher Isherwood、Paul Bowles，或是他身邊把情人收做養子，一起生活在山坡古屋裡的 John Roderick。

怪不得回憶錄要等四十年，這些主角大多離世，好誠實寫出當年各種生猛。 1970藝術圈的狂歡，他覺得已經去晚了，錯過了六零年代的暴衝反動，滿是革命失敗的苦味，以頹廢的性狂歡和各類癲狂的藝術形式表現。東西並不像今日如此親密，他們像楚浮電影裡慾望著東方娃娃，娃娃則把他們當作自己喜歡的西方代表一樣戀上。書中描寫他身邊友人被一位熱愛 Eric Clapton 的女性愛上，友人雖然完全不像卻也樂得接受，直到對方在激情時分忘我喊出：ERIKU！！！！！ 

這樣直剖的自我清算遍佈整本書。雙性戀的他會直接寫在 LA 的性冒險“整個晚上我只記得那個男孩是台灣人”，也勇於分析“怎麼說都難以不被當成種族歧視，但誰也避不開刻板印象，就連對中國深刻了解，住在北京多年的漢學家朋友，也曾直接告訴我和中國女性做愛時總擺不開‘我在幹中國’的感受...” 

除了爺爺輩才能放手一寫的體會，他也描寫當年與矢頭保、森山大道、荒木經惟、東松照明、篠山紀信交流，混跡寺山修司的天井棧敷、土方巽的暗黑舞蛹，隨著唐十郎的狀況劇場去環遊演出。在這些小劇團裡他就像西方吉祥物，不是演希特勒，就是大叫“我是午夜牛仔”的俄國人。一方面他被強迫融入日本各種文化肌理（師徒制、男女差距），一方面他知道無論多努力，他永遠不會被當作日本人：他的小劇團家庭夢在某夜慶功宴顯出原形：見到喝醉的大師拿煙灰缸丟演員妻子時，還是會反射性大罵“你不可以這樣！！”而被對方回以“你終究還是個死鬼佬！！！” 

好奇的西方青年已是雞皮鶴髮的文化學者。他知道日本終究是封閉社會。他近距離觀察日本“大師”們對西方怯後生懼，羞後有恨的心情。這些觀察也影響他後來的世界觀與研究方向，完整一個青年文化學者的畫像。