背

她看著他巨大的背﹐想像他在月光下逐漸透明﹐又想像他像一塊剛凝固的液體﹐伸出指頭去碰就會凹出一個洞來。

她覺得她會失去他﹐就這麼容易。像液體蒸發﹐像愛那些素不相識的人然後橫當從未相識。她只能看著它發生。就算她努力怎麼也不動。她緊繃著身體閉上眼睛數數兒以便自己去想她會期待 如果她期待 睜開眼睛看到什麼。

She watch his broad back, imagine it to go blur in the moonlight, imagine him as some liquid that just starts to form, if she use her finger a hole would be drilled.

She know she will lose him, just like that. Evaporate. Like one put out so much to love those strangers then treat them as strangers later. She can only watch it happen. Even she hold herself to be perfectly still. She tightens and close her eyes to count so that she won't think about what she hopes to see if she hopes at all when she open her eyes.