《Conversations with Friends》Sally Rooney

可能是最美的結局之一。The perfect cruel summer romance. 

的確有自己寫作的氛圍，青春不可預期的一切。整本書像歐洲片充滿對話但又有少女心言不由衷畫面。但結局終究是令人滿足的，無論多麼老梗。老梗永遠是好梗。

Eventually Nick looked over and I looked back. I felt a key turning hard inside my body, turning so forcefully that I could do nothing to stop it. His lips parted like he was about to say something, but he just inhaled and then seemed to swallow. Neither of us gestured or waved, we just looked at one another, as if we were already having a private conversation that couldn't be overheard.

When we flew together she made me hold hands. I wished I could ask her what she thought I should do, but I was sure if she knew what had happened she'd be appalled at the idea of me even going to Étables. In a way I was appalled too, but also fascinated. Before that summer I'd had no idea I was the kind of person who would accept an invitation like this from a woman whose husband I'd repeatedly slept with. This information was morbidly interesting to me. 

Nick had started rehearsing for a production of Hamlet, and after work on Tuesdays and Fridays he came to stay in the apartment. He complained that there was never any food in the kitchen, but after I said I was broke in a sarcastic voice, he said: oh really? I'm sorry, I didn't know that. Then he started to bring food with him when he visited. He brought fresh bread from the Temple Bar bakery, jars of raspberry jam, tubs of hummus and full-fat cream cheese. When he watched the way I ate this food, he asked me how broke I was. I shrugged. After that he started to bring over chicken breasts and plastic things of minced beef to put in my fridge. This makes me feel like a kept woman I said. H said things like: well look, you can freeze them if you don't want them tomorrow. I felt I had to act amused and glib about food, because I thought Nick would be uncomfortable if he knew I really had no money and I was living on the bread and jam he brought me. 

I was shivering. I tried to think about things that made me feel safe and normal. Material possessions: the white blouse drying on a hanger in the bathroom, the alphabetized novels on my bookshelf, the set of green china cups. 

像《正常人》一樣，在破碎家庭和貧窮環境成長的痕跡可能因為教育而變得平等，然而內心深處總有過不去的東西。自傷自割，對自己沒有自信，都是兩本書主角跨不過去的主題。